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You no longer have to pay for a drink before scanning a nightclub, compiling a mental list of those around you: ‘yes, no, no, no, yes, hell yes, no, no, both at the same or neither’, etc.
Instead of the joy of chatting up a total stranger in public, welcome to the seedy world of Tinder, the i Phone app that’s been lowering sexual standards since 2012 in the US, but has recently swept London. You choose a picture of yourself, indicate your sexual preference, and you’re away.
Given that smartphones have encroached on every other aspect of our lives, it was only a matter of time before we sunk low enough to surrender our most base instincts to our palm-held masters.
Well, congratulations humanity, you’ve gone and done it: you no longer have to leave your house to casually survey eye-candy and make that silent personal decision on first sight — would you or wouldn’t you?
Once you are matched, the painful private conversation can begin and the rest is up to you. Right swipe: worth the gamble it wasn’t the ugly duckling. Not least that the British gap-year student appears to have done more cultural damage to -Vietnam lately than the Americans ever achieved. It wasn’t the ‘look at sensitive me with African orphan’ pictures that annoyed me the most.