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Where once we looked outwards for people we liked, hoping one is delivered on the wings of chance, now we bow our heads and flick through carefully managed bios and outdated group shots.If we see someone we like across a bar, we're more likely to unlock our phone and start swiping to see if they crop up on Bumble or Happn than we are to go over and talk to them.
I don’t think anyone, boy or girl, has signed up thinking that it was going to be all champagne dinners and trips to Paris. If you’ve ever used the app, chances are you’ll have come across them a couple of times – those elusive creatures who walk among us, posing as normal human beings when actually they’ve got all the stealthy disappearing skills of David Blaine with special spy training. No harm done, you like him, you’d had a wax, and you’ll definitely see him again, right? One 26-year-old I spoke to had two particularly telling experiences on the app recently. I texted him a week later asking what happened and he replied saying, ‘We had run out of commentary,’ and some other pretentious nonsense. Are these things too much to ask when you’re swiping left and right? Let me introduce you to The Disappearing Men of Tinder (or TDMo T as I will now refer to them). This time you get a bit more pissed, let yourself go and you shag him. You curse yourself, because you’ve done what you always said you wouldn’t. Yes, everyone comes across a dickhead every now and again in real life, but Tinder seems to be a particularly rich breeding ground for them. It was really strange that it went from that to nothing. Hissing at your laptop screen every time you see that little tick and ‘Seen: 3.03pm’ next to your last message with no reply. We went on three dates and on the third we ended up sleeping together and I spent the whole weekend at his. It was strange, as before he had been almost over-the-top keen, so much so it was kind of off putting. You spend a week hiding your phone from yourself, sneaking peeks at the screen and then hurriedly stuffing it back in your bag.
It was great, we got on the whole time and he was really affectionate.
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